Dude, I’m gonna be the worst fucking dad, ever. The only evidence that suggests otherwise is that, one time, I made a basket of candy for a kid that Sofi got us babysitting and that was when I hated babies. The only real point in my favor is that I got edible grass ‘cause I was afraid Seb would choke on something else and, yeah, like I really need to be accused of killing Sofi’s best friend’s kid.
I don’t even know, dude. Would you give me your kid? I wouldn’t give me my kid and I don’t even got one yet. I want to like…give it weird nicknames and show it cool comics and teach it to inappropriately grope my friends, but I’m probably more cut out for uncle-ing than I am dad-ing. Like I do with Vin. That kid, I can take care of, so long as Eddie is actually taking care of him and I’m just around in the general area. I can take care of a puppy and I guess, since Sofi’s still kicking, a kitten, too, but I feel like a real live kid is not gonna be my thing.
But I feel like I don’t really got much of a choice here, do I? So I’ma do it. And I’ma do it for Sofi, because he’s real excited and I’ma do it so this kid doesn’t have one shitty parent who can’t do anything for it. My dad was fucking cool so I’m gonna try to be like him and just…be cool. Maybe my mom’ll have some pointers. I don’t know, man. Wish me fucking luck.